Forgiveness…is more than saying sorry (except all Bono-y)

Okay, so the best way to torture yourself is to hang on to anger when someone has hurt or offended you. “Anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.” I realize that the only way to be free and happy is to truly forgive people that I resent and wish them only the
best. But guess what?

THAT SUCKS.

So when faced with a situation that left me feeling hurt, resentful and angry, I got advice from people who seem to not be plagued by those feelings. I mean how do you do it?

You wish them well and you have to pray FOR THEM.

I’m sorry what?
Clearly you misunderstood my question.
I was the one who was done wrong.
I am the person who is innocent in this situation. No?
Pray FOR THEM?!?! You gotta be kidding me.

Well, it turns out that the only way to truly let go of resentment towards another person and to be free of thinking of them is to SINCERELY wish them all their hearts desire, forgive them, even ask how you can be helpful to them and pray for them.
(That means, that not only do I have to DO it, I have to MEAN it) GAH. And since there is no traffic on the high road, I will be all alone in my journey.

You want to make a phone call, or shout it from the rooftop of some building in mid-town,“Look I’m such a good person that I freakin’ pray for YOU. I hope you have everything your heart desires and I even wish you the best!” – yeah, it doesn’t work like that either…unfortunately. It turns out that when you truly forgive someone, you don't get to rub it in their face.

So what’s the point?

The point is, that somehow when you truly forgive someone you get to move on. You are no longer letting a hurtful person live in your mind (and heart) rent-free. Fortunately, this usually also includes protecting yourself and not allowing them to continue in your life. But you don’t get to drop the f-bomb, walk away and be done with it. You have to sincerely (damnit) wish them the best.

Warning: The first time hurts.