EPIC. FAIL.

Today has definitely been one of the worst days of my life. Please take a walk with me through a miserable day in NYC.

Let's begin with the weather. Three days ago was "the first day of Spring"... clearly a fail considering that today was 30 degrees and a snowy/rainy/slushy miserable day. I woke up at the butt crack of dawn, exhausted.

I plan to attend my doctor's appointment with my fabulous ENT with enough time to make it to my first audition of the day. I HAVE to be at the audition by 10:00, ideally 9:30. After having to receive three PAINFUL injections in my nose due to swelling, I leave the doctor around 10:06. After paying $15 in cab fare to get there quickly, I arrive to find out that the call is closed and I cannot be seen. Fail.

Then I decide to eat breakfast (by myself) which is just depressing and then I head to my next audition in the crappy weather.

I spend ALL afternoon waiting at my second audition and realize that I am going to be late for work because they are asking some people a second song. Fail.

I call work to tell them I will be late - then my phone dies. Fail.

Insert annoying girls with Broadway credits (who want everyone to know they have them) who are talking so loudly that I can't even read my book about how the only thing auditions should require is either a kick from dancers or a high c from singers. (Idiots... clearly acting wasn't in the equation).

I FINALLY get into the room and explain my piece exactly how my coach has told me, and I know that it is PERFECT for this season. I say my bit to the accompanist, but what I SHOULD have said was, "Hello, accompanist's name, this is what they call a piano." After the accompanist plays something that in no way even sounds like my song, I look like a complete idiot and I'm given a very abrasive, short and patronizing, "Thank you, Kristin". Now I SHOULD have asked to start over and said, "May I start over, I must have not explained my song correctly." or "May I do a different selection for you, clearly we weren't jiving with each other"... or maybe I SHOULDN'T have gotten out of bed this morning. FAIL.

Then comes the delightful trip work (45 minutes late with a dead cell phone) where I am once again thrilled by the efficient service of the MTA. My train stops three times under ground and in the mean time, a lady comes up to me and says, "You bumped me with your bag", which I don't doubt that I could have at all, because I carry my life on my shoulders on a daily basis and my bag barely passes carry-on standards. I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it." She continues to stand over me and finally my bad day (and New York attitude) came to full talent and I said, "What do you want me to say? I said I'm sorry." Now what I SHOULD have said was, "What do you want a dollar?", "Would you like for me to give you my bag so you can hit ME with it?", or "Freakin' welcome to New York lady!"... but at this point all I'm thinking is WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME MARCH 23RD?!?!?

I finally make it to work, with tears in my eyes and there are peanut butter cookies waiting for me on my desk. I ate three. SUCCESS.

Everyone knows that calories don't count when you're having an epic fail day.