"It's like going to a country club that doesn't allow blacks or Jews."

Sarah Silverman was a guest on The View last week and when asked about marriage she said something that really got me thinking…

SARAH SILVERMAN: I cannot imagine wanting to get married right now, at this time in America, and I can’t get my head around anyone [doing so] – You were talking about this earlier. If you’re for equal rights, why would you get married right now? It’s like going to a country club that doesn’t allow blacks or Jews. There’s no difference. Why would I want to join that club? It’s gross...

ELISABETH HASSELBECK: So until equal marriage, no marriage.

SILVERMAN: No way.

JOY BEHAR: That’s a good excuse for some people.

Now I’ve been thinking a lot about this for two reasons…. number 1, I do see myself as wanting to join that “club” one day and number 2, I also think that two people who love each other and want to be committed in a union shouldn’t be told by the state that they can’t. So I became conflicted.

Let’s be realistic, marriage has become nothing but a contract nowadays. I mean, I hate to take all the romance out of it, but over 50% of marriages end in divorce (and thank God they do). I can’t imagine anything closer to a personal hell than being in a loveless marriage where everyone suffers. But if all this is true, then why is it even something to desire.

So in dispute with Sarah Silverman, I thought about all the perks of Dan and I getting married (don’t worry it’s not happening any time soon!!) Every perk I could think of was financial (and therefore irrelevant to someone as wealthy as Sarah Silverman). If Dan and I were married, he would be on my insurance; we could file our taxes as a unit, etc. But if those are all the perks I could think of, then doesn’t that make it the definition of a sort of Business CONTRACT?!?!

Furthermore, if we live in a country that separates church and state, and the contract of marriage entitles you to certain perks from the state, then why is the church even involved? In a world where people can get divorced, is it even a religious union at all anymore?

I am not worried about anyone’s salvation but my own, and I certainly don’t think that rich, white republicans in office should have the right to determine who can be contractually bonded by the state (or what a woman should be allowed to do with her body, but that’s another issue). Let’s be real folks, this isn’t a religious issue at all. This is discrimination… and whose salvation are you protecting by not letting two men (or women) who love each other, be legally bonded so that they can make medical decisions (God forbid) or take out a loan or WHATEVER it is that married people do?

So I guess that even though I love Dan and one day I would love to wear a big white cupcake of dress and eat cake, I don’t think this “union” we call marriage comes even close to the romance that I want in my life. I don’t need a contract for romance (in the meantime… Dan can’t use my insurance) and I don’t want to be in a club where not everyone is invited.